Unconditional Love: What It Means and Where to Find It

September 27, 2022
Unconditional Love

Unconditional love can be a heavy term that refers to something most people don’t understand. As a marriage therapist, it is often used to describe a kind of love that transcends boundaries. It can also be used to justify staying in unhealthy relationships.

To define unconditional love is to say that a person loves someone unselfishly, that he or she cares about the happiness of the other person and will do anything to help that person feel happiness without expecting anything in return. Follow centralfallout to get updated.

What is unconditional love?

Unconditional Love

Unconditional love is not synonymous with love without boundaries or limits. This means “I offer my love freely and without condition.” This means that we give our love without expecting to be repaid. This type of unconditional love is essential in relationships. We are not offering love without strings attached. This can create power and control imbalances.

Unconditional love is the ability to love someone through all kinds of difficulties, failures, and frustrations. It is the foundation of any lasting, meaningful relationship. We are entering into relationships with others because we are interacting with another person, a human being with many quirks and weaknesses and challenges.

We all have our quirks, flaws, and challenges. Learning to accept influence, compromise and connect with the tension in life is one of the most rewarding experiences.

How conditional love looks.

Parents’ unconditional love for their children is often referred to as unconditional love. This means that a parent may love their child regardless of what. Sometimes, however, we see this kind of “strings attached love” in parent-child relationships as much as in romantic relationships. A parent gives their child a certain amount love and expects a return.

Condimental vs. unconditional love Unconditional Love

It is possible that you have heard unconditional love more than conditional love. What is conditional love, you ask? A conditional relationship would include loving your car simply because it is reliable. The car runs well is why you love it. You may not love your car if it has major mechanical problems. You love your car only if it works well.

Therefore, conditional love is more about control than real affection. Because you believe you can control something or someone, it is easier to love them. Once you can’t control the person or thing, it is no longer your love. Conditional love is not healthy.

If your partner tries to control you, how you look, feel and act, it is trying to force you to be the best version of yourself. Unconditional love is accepting you as you are. This unconditional love is not for those who have strings attached, such as a job, look or status.

Passion is conditional love. When passion is exhausted, hatred can take its place. Both can be extremely strong emotions. If someone we love does something to make us feel hurt or change our opinions about them, this passion can become hatred. Both passion and hate are sides of conditional love. This is why no emotion should ever be present in a long-lasting, mature relationship.

However, your passion for your partner does not have to be a negative thing. You must have a steady, consistent, and unconditional love to support your passion. If they don’t meet your expectations, it is not okay to turn into hatred. It is not easy to fall in love and hate another person.

Passion and hatred are more self-centered than unconditional love. Passion and conditional love are connected neurally. Connected but separate.

This is what “conditional love” could sound like

  • “I have always given you so much love and this is my way of saying thank you.”
  • “Your father and me wanted you to be a doctor. We tried to do everything for you and are now disappointed in your decision to become an artist.
  • “I can’t believe you’re marrying that person!” After all the love you gave me, I’d think you would respect me more.

The parent isn’t offering unconditional love in the examples above, but they are offering love contingent upon the child meeting certain conditions. The child owes money. This can lead to a disjointed and unreliable relationship or even a toxic relationship.

Is unconditional love healthy or unhealthy?

It is healthy to give your love freely and without conditions. We aren’t truly loving each other if we do not. Instead, we use affection to control.

It is unhealthy to give love without boundaries.

Basic expectations of our relationships must be met: kindness, respect, safety. If these expectations are not met, it may be necessary to establish hard boundaries. These boundaries could be as simple as cutting off or distancing from oneself. It does not necessarily mean you gave up on your love. Your love does not mean they are indebted.

They don’t owe anything to you. You owe your safety, respect and kindness. To take care of yourself and your safety, you can leave people you love very deeply.

Love without borders is the problem

Unrestricted love can cause unhappiness, or worse, abuse. We will not be able to have an equal voice in the relationship if we don’t let our parents, children, and partners know what we expect.

These boundaries can sometimes be ignored in the name “unconditional love”. In those instances, however, we aren’t offering unconditional love. We offer codependent love. We are codependent lovers. This leads to unbalanced power, control and a lack of connection. We give each other the opportunity to take responsibility for their actions.

There is a fine line between loving someone through hardships and accepting unacceptable behavior. When a relationship is not providing the basic needs of the relationship, the latter becomes obvious. You need to establish a boundary for your well-being if someone has hurt you or is unwilling to fix it.

You should establish a boundary if you feel that the relationship has become hostile and disrespectful. If you’ve tried communicating clearly but still don’t see any change, this is especially true. If you enable the person in a manner that negatively affects your well being, it is not unconditional love. It’s unhealthy, codependent, and dependent love.

Unconditional love still involves healthy boundaries.

We can show unconditional love even to those who are struggling, but we don’t have the right to love others without boundaries. It is possible to offer unconditional love without strings but still have boundaries.

This is what unconditional love with healthy boundaries could look like

  • “I love and support you regardless of what. We don’t have the money to pay your bills.
  • “I love and respect you. I must give space to you when you talk to me this way.”

Unconditional love does not constitute a binding contract.

Unconditional love

When we believe we must offer unconditional love to others even when our basic expectations have not been met, it can cause unconditional love to become murky. “Right now, I offer this love to you, and you’re not indebted.” This does not mean that I offer you my love in the same way and forever, even if it causes you to harm me.

For example, let’s take a healthy relationship in which a couple is offering each other the basic and necessary expectations in a relationship–kindness, respect, and safety.

Then, one person experiences something that causes them to act in a cruel or disrespectful way towards their partner. You have two options: distance yourself or put limits in place when that happens. Your love doesn’t have to be unconditional.

This is because you gave your love as freely as possible, then you established healthy boundaries when you felt the need to take care of yourself.

Unconditional love is the act of expressing love in a moment without condition. This does not necessarily mean that you will be able to love someone forever. It is a declaration that the love I give you now is yours to keep. It is my free will. I owe you nothing in return.

This is true love. It’s the kind of love that allows people to be themselves. This type of love allows us to constantly reassess our relationship and determine if it is still working well for us.

How to unconditionally love someone

Unconditional can cause confusion and unrealistic expectations of ourselves and our loved ones. Wholehearted love is simpler. Wholehearted love means receiving love as we wish.

We love because it feels good, not for a specific reason. Wholehearted love respects individuality. You can unconditionally love your partner and yourself.

When both of you are open to sharing your heart, you will know that it is genuine love. Each person can have a voice. When people reflect on their challenges. When growth happens. If there is no scoreboard, you’re on the same team as opposing teams.

If there are strings attached, debts due, or boundaries broken, you will know that it is not true love. It is especially obvious when basic expectations of safety, love, kindness and safety are not being met.

  • Be mindful of your love offerings. Are you expecting a specific response? Do you expect a certain reaction? Is the person indebted? You can love because you are loved.
  • Accept and appreciate influence. To love someone wholeheartedly, it means to believe that they have something of value to offer their partner, child, friend or parent. Be inspired by them.
  • Transparency is key. Transparency is key to your interactions. Tell people what you expect. Give people the chance to succeed for you.
  • Learn to listen. Listening is more than just “hearing”. It is about understanding the words of others and showing curiosity to learn more.
  • Pay attention to the dynamics of control in your relationship and take steps to stop them from becoming too much. Pay attention to how control works in your relationship. Is there a deeper motive behind tension? Are you expressing unstated needs or are your conflicts?

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Article Categories:
Relationship · World

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