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If WW1 was a bar fight
Germany, Austria and Italy were standing all together in the middle of a pub. When Serbia a light blow into Austria and spills Austria’s a unit of liquid. Austria demands Serbia to buy it a completely new suit because there are splashes on its trouser leg. Germany expresses support for Austria’s point of view.
Britain is recommending that everyone calm down a bit. Serbia has pointed out that it cannot afford a whole suit but offers to pay to clean Austria’s trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it is looking. Russia is suggesting that Austria should leave its little brother alone. Austria inquires to whose army will assist Russia in compelling to do.
Germany appeals to Britain that France has to look at it and that it is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not extend. Britain replies that France will look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too.
What’s Germany going to do about it? It has told Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will provide Russia incapable of such action. Britain and France were asking Germany whether it is looking at Belgium. Turkey and Germany go out into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey will make to show off not look at anyone.
Germany rolls up its sleeves, looking at France, and punches Belgium. Both countries beat Germany. Austria punches Russia. Again, Germany hits Britain and France with one hand, and Russia will collide with the other. It throws a punch at Germany but misses and nearly falls. Japan is calling from the other side of the room that it is on Britain’s side but stays there.
Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria. Australia hits Turkey and gets beaten back. There are no hard feelings because Britain makes Australia do it. France gets thrown through a plate-glass window but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia will get thrown through another one and gets knocked out. Suffers from brain damage and waking up with a complete change of personality.
Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria is falling over anyway. Italy raises both strikes with the fist in the air and runs round the room chanting. America waits till Germany is on to fall over without interruption punching from Britain and France.
Then he walks over and smashes it with a barstool. Then pretends it won the fight all by itself. By now, broke all the chairs and the big mirror over the bar shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany’s fault.
While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.
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