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Shibari – Japanese rope tied
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Shibari – Japanese rope tied
One will be using the time in self-isolation to learn a new hobby, like making bread, puzzling tying the partner up with intricate Japanese bondage. Whether one has always into playing with a measure or one is just starting to learn the ropes. Learning how to practice Shibari can tie up all your lusty loose ends.
Netflix’s latest reality drama, Too Hot to Handle, even featured Shibari, “a technique used to improve intimacy and trust in relationships.” While the contestants are shown with fancy bondage materials and get to work with a professional Shibari instructor, experts say it’s possible to explore Shibari without breaking the bank or even leaving your house.
To spill the tethered tea, I spoke with Shibari artist Kitty Killin, Lazarus Redmayne of TheDuchy, and Rev. Lucifer, founder of Reiki Bondage, about Shibari, bondage, and getting a little knotty while social distancing.
What is Shibari?
Shibari
According to Killin, Shibari, also known as Kinbaku, is a form of Japanese artistic rope bondage. “The word translates to ‘to tie’ or ‘to bind’ and refers to intricate and beautiful knots and patterns used to restrain and give sensation to the body,” Killin says.
Redmayne adds that the term “Shibari” has become interchangeable with general “rope bondage,” though they are not synonymous in modern usage. “To practitioners, Shibari is just one of several styles and types [of rope bondage],” Redmayne says.
Why practice Shibari?
Suppose one has ever played with handcuffs or loves to get pin down. Then one may already know that one likes to play with restraints or power dynamics. But, as Lucifer says, Shibari will offer a sense of giving up and building trust with a partner intimately and artistically.
“Come enjoy the art and beauty of the rope and its placement on the body; others enjoy the intimate connection between partners,” Lucifer says. “And some are more into sadistic/masochistic elements and use it as an outlet to give or receive pain as part of a BDSM practice.”
Killin adds that you can use a rope to restrain yourself or a partner, create sensations, and explore new sex positions.
However, it’s important to note that Shibari isn’t strictly sexual. Killin says that tying someone up (or getting tied up) can build an intimate connection between partners.
“Shibari is a tool to learn about your partner’s body, to build trust between you and your partner, and to discover new and exciting intimacy,” Killin says. “You’ll learn what feels good and what doesn’t.”
What are Shibari’s biggest misconceptions?
There is no “type” of person that practices rope bondage. “The images of scary dungeons and nasty people that you sometimes see in movies don’t play out,” Redmayne says. “Most people in it are just regular people like you and me, that happen to have an esoteric interest.”
Additionally, Redmayne notes that people generally overestimate the difficulty or time needed to start getting into Shibari. “There are simple things that you can learn in an afternoon that look gorgeous,” Redmayne “The ‘Hishi Karada that is “Rope Dress” and the ‘Star that is Pentagram Harness’ both are good examples.”
For Killing, the biggest view on Shibari is that it is all sexy all the time. “Can use the rope to spice things up in the bedroom. But it is not only that, “When I self-tie, my rope is a means for meditation. When I build installations, the rope is my medium; when I perform, the rope is my purpose.”
What are some basic Shibari terms?
The “Rigger” or “Rope Top” is the person doing the tying, where the “Bunny” or “Rope Bottom” is the person being tied up. In traditional Shibari, Killin attests that a rope is folded in half at the middle creating a loop or “bight” at one end and the “tail” or “working end” at the other. A “self-tie” is when someone ties themselves up, and a “floor tie” is ropework done exclusively on the floor.
Rucifer adds that “tension” is what creates tautness in the rope to give a sensation of bondage and restraint, and “reverse tension” comes from changing the direction of the string while still restricting someone.
According to Redmayne, “Single column tie” means doing a decorative knot on one body part: a wrist, ankle, leg, waist, etc. Whereas “Double column” means tying two things together. Wrists to the wrist, ankle to ankle, ankle to thigh, ankle to wrist, etc.”
What should one consider before starting?
Because practicing Shibari will put one at risk for bodily harm and nerve damage. Redmayne suggests taking an intro to rope bondage course. One will also lecture at rope stipulating or find local classes or meetups on FetLife. TheDuchy or Shibari Study will be a great way to learn as well.
Additionally, it is essential to get in tune with the limits before getting started. “Beginners should have an understanding of the risks connected with the practice. For example, how to prevent harm with yourself or partner,” Rucifer says.
From establishing the length of time that one wants to ties up to listing the positions, one is not ok with forming a safe word. However, setting up some pre-Shibari structure will help one to stay secure in the practice.
What do I need to practice Shibari at home?
Before getting into Shibari, it’s imperative to check in with yourself and your partners about comfort levels and consent. Redmayne says practicing Shibari is all about support, responsibility, and risk-aware consensual kink or “R.A.C.K.”
“Open communication on people’s desires, limits, safety, and emotional health is an expecting one. Unfortunately, the routine part of conversations in the kink world,” Redmayne says.
One will want strong rope with a very little stretch, but one will get started with strings from the local hardware store. A nice 1/4′ that is a 6mm cotton solid braid sash cord. In addition to having a good rope, the experts share the importance of having a safe cutting tool. Redmayne and Killin suggest getting a set of real E.M.T. shears that are not just bondage or fabric scissors. It can cut through rope instantly if someone is hurt or wants to stop a scene without being untied.
If you’re feeling nervous or sheepish about your partner watching you fumble with your knots, giving the person you’re tying a blindfold may help you both get in the moment.
I got my rope and shears, now what?
No matter your skill level, all the experts suggest looking at online Shibari tutorials and connecting with other rope enthusiasts to get inspiration and learn more about the practice. Rucifer shares that beginners frequently start by practicing with single ties like the Somerville Bowline. Then learn additional knots, like the half-hitch, full-hitch, or crossing hitch, and Futumomo, an upper thigh to calf tie.
Although one may be exciting to do some multi-player knot tying, start practicing with solo-tying. “As one practice on yourself, one will feel more comfortable as one should start exploring with a partner. It will be able to communicate better and navigate the experience,” Rucifer says.
Whether one should take a ropes course or try to follow a video, learning Shibari takes practice and patience as long as one is doing what feels right for one and the partners. Shibari is all about getting creative and finding the knots that work for one.
Killin also shares that while Shibari may look intimidating, it is a fairly accessible practice. “Anyone can do it,” Killin says. “Shibari is customizable; any tie will craft to fit the needs of any body type, any range of mobility, or any particular requirements.”
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Shannen Doherty may have found the miracle treatment she needs to treat her cancer.
The 90210 star has been incredibly candid about her battle with cancer.
From sharing harrowing updates on the spread of the cancer to her brain to her scary confession on her life expectancy, Shannen has been upfront with her fans about every step of her journey.
And we all just got an incredibly positive update.
Shannen Doherty Calls New Cancer Treatment a ‘Miracle’
Since 2015, Shannen has been battling stage 4 breast cancer.
To say she has been brave is an understatement. And while there have been setbacks, there’s also been glimmers of hope of a full recovery.
In her latest podcast episode, Shannen sat down with her oncologist and shared the news about a new treatment that is doing wonders for her – even though it didn’t start out that way.
“I’m on a new cancer infusion,” she explained, though she declined to name which infusion treatment she tried.
She’s not here to give you medical advice, y’all. She’s here to tell her story! She added:
After four treatments, we didn’t really see a difference and everybody wanted me to switch, and I just kinda was like, ‘We’re gonna keep going with this and see.’”
That wait and see attitude was just the ticket, because after a few more treatments, her doctors saw treatment “breaking down the blood brain barrier.”
Is that a miracle? For her, the answer is very much yes!
“I can die today, I can die in 20 years.”
“That it’s actually breaking down that blood brain barrier is actually a miracle of that drug,” she added. “A miracle of maybe God intervening and saying, ‘I’m gonna give her a break.’ Sometimes you’re looking for miracles in all the wrong places and they’re right in front of your face.”
However, having the right treatment is only half the battle. No matter how you slice it, Shannen’s journey has been hard, grueling, and defeating time and time again.
The true miracle? The fact that Shannen has managed to stay positive after all she’s been through!
“Every day is a gift and there are so many new things in the works that I think hope is always there. I think it’s so important,” she says.
“Listen, I can die today, I can die in 20 years, I don’t know. I can die walking outside of my house and a tree falling on me or a bus hitting me, whatever. Or I can die of cancer. But all I can do is live each day in as much as a positive manner with hope as I can and embrace it and feel like, ‘Wow, I get to wake up again today, what can I do?’”
Sounds like you should just keep doing what you’re doing, Shannen.
When Jessa Duggar married Ben Seewald back in 2014, it looked like a match made in heaven.
Ben and Jessa shared similar views, and most importantly, they had the approval of her domineering father.
Jim Bob Duggar makes all the rules in his household, and his daughters aren’t allowed to date anyone without his approval.
In fact, potential suitors are forced to fill out a 45-page questionnaire before they can date a Duggar daughter.
Ben was only the second guy to pass all of Jim Bob’s tests.
So we know that he has Jim Bob’s approval, but how does Jessa wife feel about Ben?
Are Ben & Jessa Still Married?
Yes, they are – but if you ask those who are watching the pair closely, they won’t be for long!
Some observers believe she wasn’t thrilled with him to begin with, and her opinion has soured further in recent years.
“I don’t think Jessa and Ben are happy together. I just have this gut feeling. I believe they are miserable,” one person opined on the r/DuggarsSnark subreddit this week, according to UK tabloid The Sun.
“I remember when Jessa posted online (idk if she erased it). Her messy house. And how her kids are always messing it up. And idk it just made me feel that she is not truly happy,” this person continued.
“What do you [guys] think? Do you believe she and Ben are not happy in their marriage?” another poster poised to the group
“Absolutely not. Jessa, I think was the ‘prize’ in her community. I think she expected to also marry a ‘prize,’” one redditor replied, adding:
“He is effectively, another child for her to take care of. Granted I think she likes being able to control him. [Ben] won’t step up and she’ll keep treating him the way she does.”
Jessa and Ben Now: The Parent Trap?
The truth is, Jessa and Ben are still together, and more than that, they’ve just expanded their family.
The pair welcomed George Augustine Seewald on December 19th, 2023. This is their 5th child together, after already welcoming kids Spurgeon, Henry, Ivy, and Fern.
So, if they are unhappy, are they perhaps sticking it out for the kids? It surely would be a huge disruption to their lives if they jumped ship.
But again, commenters suggest that had these two had a normal dating life before getting together, things would’ve been very different.
“If Jessa had been allowed to date him, screw around, and then come to the realization that ‘Yeah, he’s kinda hot…but what a f**king moron.’ She probably never would’ve married him and met someone who was actually compatible,” one person wrote on the thread.
Still, at least one person found a silver lining in the discord:
“I don’t see much love in their relationship but Jessa is safe and has complete freedom which is a lot more than most wives in these communities.”
Is Jessa Duggar Still In IBLP?
But if by “community” they mean the IBLP – aka, the nondenominational Christian fundamentalist organization Institute in Basic Life Principles – then they need to get up with the times.
Jessa revealed that she, Ben, and their children “do not” belong to IBLP in a September 2023 Instagram Story Q&A.
Furthermore, Ben currently serves as a pastor at Immanuel Baptist Church in Arkansas.
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Tammy Slaton is flying high these days.
Sometimes, in a literal and exciting sense.
Other times, simply in the sense that she has shed HUNDREDS of pounds in the last couple of years — and while she knows her work isn’t done, she’d also like a bit more credit from social media users out there daring to cast doubt or blame.
Allow us to give you an example, okay?
On Saturday, the 1000-Lb. Sisters cast member uploaded a video on TikTok in response to a person who remarked on a recent post by telling the TLC personality:
“I hope you’re still focusing on losing weight. Looks like you’ve gained a few pounds! Not a hater, just a caring fan.”
Yikes, huh? Also: WTF?!?
This total stranger was citing footage of Slaton opening up and promoting a multitude of gifts from different small businesses supporting her journey, some of which included candy and other high-calorie snacks.
“I haven’t gained any weight,” the 37-year-old insisted via TikTok. “I have not gained any weight. It was the way the camera was angled.”
Showing impressive poise in the face of an unwarranted critique, Slaton continued:
“I get what you’re saying, but if I’m gonna help small business then I’ll let them send me candy or cookies. It’s up to me to push the candy away and not eat it.
“Y’all see that I’ve made a lot of progress and every day I still make progress.”
Seriously, you guys. Tammy Slaton has made SO, SO much progress.
She recently went on an airplane for the first time and also the beach for the first time and is accomplishing milestones she never previously believed would be possible.
Just about two years ago, she was placed in a medically-induced coma, too, following a serious health scare that prompted Tammy enter a rehab facility in Ohio.
Focusing there on her diet and exercise, Tammy eventually qualified for gastric bypass surgery, helping her drop from over 700 pounds to under 400 pounds.
“Please forgive me if I’m coming off as rude or irritated because I kind of am. Y’all don’t have faith in me,” Tammy went on in her own, well-deserved defense.
“I’ve proven myself numerous times that I can lose weight, that I am losing weight and that I’m still losing weight but y’all continue to post stuff like this and it hurts my feelings.
“Where’s the faith? Where’s the trust?”
Very good questions, in our opinion.
Slaton has often snapped back at critics over the past few months… but she managed to keep her cool in this instance.
“I appreciate y’all trying to look after me but at the same time, I’m the one that’s got to say no,” she concluded on TikTok.
“I’m the one that’s got to push it all away…the candy, the cookies, the cake. I know it’s hard to believe, but I seriously do not eat that stuff that much.
“Not anymore. I don’t even crave sugar that much.”
We could not be more proud of Tammy, especially when you consider that she lost her husband last summer and hasn’t let the grief affect her physical health.
The reality star spoke to People Magazine a short time ago about all the positive changes in her life as a result of her new lifestyle.
“Just being able to walk without a walker or be pushed in a wheelchair, and no oxygen. I don’t even sleep with it at night anymore,” Tammy told the outlet.
“Then it was being able to fit in a regular vehicle, front seat, and then the belt buckle, and not have to use an extender now.
“So I mean, just what seems minor to some people is giant for me.”
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